Readers of The Lost Art

Quotes of the ROTLA, 2018

December 15th, 2021

The following gems of wisdom have all been pronounced at meetings of the Graphic Novels group. Names have been hidden to protect the guilty.

On the entertainingness, or otherwise, of terrible comics

“Car crashes can be interesting to watch.”

“It has to be a three-car flaming pile-up though, not a minor prang off the side of a tree.”

On authorial self-knowledge

“He presents himself as kind of a prat, but I sort of expected that.”

Disappointing works from great authors

“I’m afraid to say it is a big pile of poo.”

Both the name of a series and a general statement

“I’ve been reading Questionable Content.”

How to define it?

“There’s no supernatural element! Except that he’s dead.”

The genius of Will Eisner

“You read his work and think ‘This feels kind of familiar’, then you realise yeah, that’s because Will Eisner invented it in the first place.”

Just hop in your time machine

“Does anyone know any cavemen?”

English is a funny language

“It’s really hard to pronounce a backslash.”

A brief detour into intellectualism

“I’m going in search of the literary graphic novel.”

“All those layers of phoney self-deprecation.”

When comics fail to live up to expectations

“I’m trying to evenly distribute the disappointment.”

On reading certain people’s works

“A little Chris Ware can go a long way.”

When experiments with the form go awry

“Fifty pages of no punctuation!”

On wildlife rescue

“Why is there a seal in a garden? That doesn’t make any sense.”

The problem with spy comics

“There’s just too many catsuits.”

The perils of censorship

“The government read it, and then they took his grant away.”

It’s important to be on the right side of the line

“It’s a fine line between smart and smart-arsed.”

Reviewing Grant Morrison

“There’s not that many of his books where I read it and think ‘these are people’.”

The need to understand economic systems

“The nice thing about him is that he’ll sell it to you for £5, or free if you’re a friend.”

“Yeah… he really doesn’t get how capitalism works.”

Reviewing later Asterix comics

“’Asterix and the Chariot Race’: it’s a good cover version.”

On graphic novel formats

“Beware of getting the big floppy edition.”

On characters in Asterix

“All the female characters are wives of existing characters who are there to nag their husbands.”

“Mostly everyone is portrayed as an idiot.”

On historical comics

“There’s always a temptation with historical comics to do mythological”.

Like herding cats

“That was my ‘EVERYONE!’ voice.”

Try not to scare the normal people

“I really shouldn’t say things like that quite so loudly in a coffee shop.”

Not a flattering nickname for Geoff Johns

“Unfortunately it’s written by Arm Pull-Off Boy.”

On memory loss

“Have we got Oh-What-The-****’s-It-Called on the reading list?”

Upon starting a new quotes book

“I wish I could say something profound and epic, instead of utter nonsense.”

Quotes of the ROTLA, 2021

December 15th, 2021

The following gems of wisdom have all been pronounced at meetings of the Graphic Novels group. Names have been hidden to protect the guilty.

An alternative take on housekeeping

‘It’s easy to deal with dust, just put some books on top of it.’

On having an low view of Adrian Tomine’s latest

‘You read the comic and you just want to say, for God’s sake, man, you’re 40 years old, get on with it!’

An entirely new genre?

‘“Not achieving what you set out to do comics”, it’s a whole new genre.’

A previously-unexpected career

‘I’ve been a giant floating head, it’s over-rated.’

 And Noel Edmonds hasn’t been seen much recently, either…

‘Mr Blobby’s eaten about four children by now, hasn’t he?’

Alterna-Disney

‘The Johnny Cash Theme Park!’

 On giving up on being trendy…

‘I’m never in the loop, it went away without me several years ago.’

 Undue humility?

‘I have a theory which is better than I think it is!’

We’ve all been there

“My brain is timing out.”

And the ‘Alien’ mythos, too

“Ridley Scott ruined my big break in comics”.

On life choices

“I literally had two doors in front of me I could walk through. One was labelled ‘Crime’ and the other ‘Graphic’ [pause] …but only one of them had cookies.”

Quotes of the ROTLA, 2020

December 15th, 2021

The following gems of wisdom have all been pronounced at meetings of the Graphic Novels group. Names have been hidden to protect the guilty.

On terrible pumpclips:

“I don’t know what it is trying to tell me about the beer? It’s good? It’s bad? It makes you pee? Hitler made it?”

 On catchphrases:

“You can make everything sound better by adding ‘FOR SCIENCE!’ on the end of it.”

An unexpected place for comics

“I got the Blue Lantern oath into my sermon last Sunday, I’m so proud.”

Are we sure, though?

“I don’t think there are aliens in Manchester.”

 ‘Jerusalem’ reviewed

“People walking around Nottingham interminably.”

On the pandemic

“It’s got spikes, so it’s obviously evil.”

A puzzle we previously hadn’t considered

“Has anyone tried unrolling a mini-roll?”

Quotes of the ROTLA, 2019

December 15th, 2021

The following gems of wisdom have all been pronounced at meetings of the Graphic Novels group. Names have been hidden to protect the guilty.

More accurate naming for barbarian comics

“I call them ‘Much Stabbing’ and ‘Book 2 of Much Stabbing’.”

Sequels; not always a blessing

“We’re suffering the curse of sequelitis”.

Terrible puns

“So, there’s fishmen chasing them on a scooter, which is another fish.”

“A skate-board?”

“Aargh.”

What is this thing?

“It’s like Cookie Monster and Honey Monster had a lovechild.”

Alas, true

“I reckon he’s gone off to hang out with cooler people than us.”

“How and where?”

“Easily and everywhere.”

Reviewing ‘Jupiter Ascending’

“Apparently Sean Bean doesn’t do a waggle dance.”

The perils of puppeting

“I’m not sure Gerry Anderson has his arm up the backside of any of them though.”

The joys of space opera

“It’s great, but it has about as much hard science in it as… my brain.”

On firm reviewing

“It’s pretentious, I said that, and I’m not taking it back!”

The importance of understanding what’s going on

“She’s just doing opinions.”

Summarising John Wyndham’s work

“The master of the cozy apocalypse”.

This review is not really selling it

“If you’re stuck in Paris for a hour and have to read something, you’ll dig it.”

On misdirection

“You think you know where it’s going. It’s not going there.”

On health drinks

Recently overheard near the City Library: “I owe my life to green tea with seaweed in it. It’s absolutely disgusting though.”