Readers of The Lost Art

Quotes of the ROTLA, 2022

January 26th, 2023

The following gems of wisdom have all been pronounced at meetings of the Graphic Novels group. Names have been hidden to protect the guilty.

The perils of graphic novel reading

“It’s a really bad idea to Google some of Matt Fraction’s work, then take your computer for repair afterwards”.

That old story

“It’s a familiar scenario – writer says he has plans, and he really ***ing doesn’t”.

On taking a professional approach to re-issuing comics

“They’ve coloured it.”

“What, professionally, or just by a dude with some crayons?”

Questions we never thought to ask before, 1

“Has anyone ever tried unrolling a mini-roll?”

Hellboy summarised, 1

“He wanders through things that Mike Mignola likes drawing.”

Questions we never thought to ask before, 2

“If this comic was an alcoholic beverage, what would it be?”

Hellboy summarised, 2

“I’m not sure you can actually have spoilers for Hellboy.”

Unexpected new zombie types

“Ash Zombies – their mortal foe is the vacuum cleaner.”

Hellboy summarised, 3

“He’s got a giant hand and he’s going to bring about the apocalypse.”

A mission statement

“I ride herd on nerds.”

On social media IDs

“’Kantian Cat’ is going to be my new Twitter handle.”

Damning with faint praise

“The artwork is very… competent.”

Phrases you don’t hear everyday

“People have periods…. IN SPACE!”

Con artistry takes a new and disturbing turn

“I nearly replied to a study, but it could have been a scam, they could have been after my lungs and my bank account.”

Commentary on Matt Fraction

“When you can’t be bothered to use words, use squiggles!”

A certain 90s creator summarised

“Stupidly big guns drawn very badly.”

It’s important to avoid ambiguity

“He’s a very dense writer – by which I mean, his writing is dense!”

When we wrote a Fast and Furious film

“I half-expected to see Vin Diesel beating people up next to the stuffed corpse of Jeremy Bentham.”

“I half-expected to see Vin Diesel beating people up WITH the stuffed corpse of Jeremy Bentham.”

On geography

“I read a comic that was nearly about London, it was the nearby location of … Egypt.”

It’s important to be selective

“He does not become the Joker, no, I don’t read comics that are that exciting.”

Better than not at all…

“Recently I achieved accidental relevance!”

And frankly that’s an improvement

“No-one joyrides any more…”

Finding the right frame of reference

“Let me try to explain this in terms more familiar to you… supposing there was a Sad Lesbian Comics crossover…”

Everyone needs a nemesis

“We might encounter our mortal foes, the home-brew club.”

And also, there’s some bad news about Santa Claus…

“Is it based on a true story?”

“No. Superman isn’t real.”